Galaxina has a few jokes that soar, and possibly only because by comparison to everything else, they actually elicit a snicker. There’s a running choir gag involving a blue star the intrepid crew of an interstellar police ship is out searching for. Sure that plot line takes the better part of 40 minutes to materialize, but the reactions to the unseen choir are at least funny.
Sadly, that’s about it for this 1980 mess taking place in the year 3008, where biker groups still play records and widescreen TV’s (so they might have got that part right) play video that looks worse than a VHS. This is a movie created to capitalize and spoof the Star Wars films (or those up to that point), and it fails so miserably it’s fascinating that anyone thought they could just toss anything on screen and sell it.
Nothing works, even when it’s legitimately trying. Parodies of the famous Catina scene include a human bar (where the aliens munch on people, tended to by Mr. Spot) and an alien whorehouse, neither of which are worthy of a smirk, let along a guffaw. When the first attempt at humor is the Captain of the ship being named Cornelius Butt (Avery Schreiber), you know you’re in for a long one.
This is a no-budget dud, the miniature work probably not that awful, but lit so poorly (and incorrectly), there’s a not a chance for it to succeed. Maybe that’s meant to be satirical, but then you’d need a group of cynical movie goers back in 1980 who didn’t find Star Wars impressive. Good luck with that one. You’d at least need internet message boards to find those people.
Unlike disc counterpart Crater Lake Monster, Galaxina had an HD DVD release, and it’s highly doubtful this is a new encode. It’s certainly compressed enough to not make it seem otherwise. There is little to no fine grain visible, most of it swallowed by the AVC encode.
That leaves the image soft, hardly helped by the occasional filtered lighting that blooms just about everything. Even when that’s not in effect, this one looks clunky, faces rarely given any texture and the few scenes that do only serve to prove that it’s possible. The print is fair, various special effect shots (and boy are they ever special) suffering from the worst of the damage.
Everything is at least consistently faded and dim, minimal lighting allowed on the ship’s interior to hide the cheapness assuredly. Black levels don’t hold up though, revealing additional specks of compression within the darkest areas of the screen. Color is muted, that aside from the hideously gaudy planet surface, the whole thing tinted a garish, blinding yellow and red, supposedly the atmospheric effect. In reality, that’s known as, “we couldn’t come up with anything that cost less.”
The afforded resolution does at least give added detail to the miniature ships, even if doesn’t do them any favors. The minimal level of ship parts are in view, and the text on the sides readily legible. Any make-up or mask effects don’t even come close, especially the little yellow Alien knock-off.
Three audio choices here, including PCM, DTS-HD, and Dolby Digital, all 2.0 mono. The uncompressed tracks carry no discernible difference between them, both certainly sourced from the same master, and mixed the same way. It’s a mystery why they bothered with both. At the least, the dialogue isn’t bad, which is certainly not the case for Crater Lake. It’s in better shape and cleaner, without any hiss or distortion, while still a hair faded.
Now, that doesn’t mean it’s always audible, the piano inside the alien whorehouse around 40-minutes completely overpowering the spoken lines. The balance is off to say the least, and the music doesn’t exactly share the same breathing room as the dialogue. Nothing exists outside of the muffled mid-range, the opening theme losing the drums that try to co-exist with blaring trumpets. Sound effects pulled from other movies or TV shows are no better.
No extras here as selecting the feature goes straight into the movie.
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