Postal Review

Uwe Boll isn’t exactly famous. In fact, put “in” in front of “famous” and you have a better grasp of his standing within the film community. After debacles like House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, who can blame anyone for hating the guy? Hopefully, Postal will make some people retract their death threats into a more causal call for bodily harm.

Postal in every sense of the word is a terrible movie. It looks cheap, the editing is awful, direction bland, the script is full of holes, and the inane plot exists purely to offend… and that’s oddly why it works. No one in their right mind would call this a good movie, but an entertaining one? Sure.

Much like the video game it’s based on, Postal’s goal is to morally offend. A tally of the number of cheap shots at 9/11 victims, concentration camp gas chambers, religion, handicapped, children, babies, and the general population would require counting every line in the film. Oh, and it’s also crude as Dave Foley literally shows us (everything) within the first 10 minutes.

The nonsensical plot concerns Zack Ward and Dave Foley’s attempt to intercept a shipment of super-popular, high dollar eBay item Krotchy dolls, which are, well, probably what you expect after reading that. Unfortunately, the Taliban (!) is also after them for their nefarious purpose which is to load them with Avian bird flu (!!) to destroy the US.

Each scene is another excuse to load up the satire, even if it has little or no correlation with the events to follow. Characters are introduced as quickly as they’re tossed to the wayside for their one-shot gags. The movie has zero central logic, and exists in a fantasy world where George Bush and Osama bin Laden dance into a nuclear blast like it was a sunset.

Then again, who cares? The movie isn’t about plot or logic. It’s about scathing, irreverent satire, and in that, it does alright for itself. Verne Troyer has no problem making himself look completely ridiculous at the expense of a few laughs, and if he can do it, so can the audience. Some will be horrendously offended and that’s fine. This movie wasn’t for them in the first place.

Postal doesn’t have much to do with the video game it’s based on, short of a guy going crazy and shooting everybody. However, since the game didn’t have much of a plot, this Taliban/religious cult/hot eBay item/George Bush/Dave Foley penis film is better than nothing. Besides, Postal never drags and rarely loses its focus as one of the most offensive movies you’ll ever see, or laugh at. [xrr rating=3/5 label=Movie]

The DVD transfer for the film was nearly unwatchable. It’s amazing what extra resolution and a high bit-rate can do. This VC-1 encode is simply stunning in terms of its detail. It’s razor sharp, only wavering in a few scenes. Color bursts off the screen thanks in part to the film’s overly bright contrast, which is well under control compared to the DVD edition (yet still overblown). There’s some digital noise in the bunker scene, and for some reason, the end credit sequence looks copied right off the DVD. Other than some minor missteps, this is an exceptional looking disc. [xrr rating=4/5 label=Video]

For much of the film, this DTS-HD Master mix works wonderfully. Surrounds are engaged frequently, whether from various ambient noises or action scenes. The soundtrack nicely bleeds into all channels. Bass packs a punch when the explosions start going off. Even the stereo channels are given plenty to do. For some reason, it’s almost as if the surrounds shut off during the final trailer park gunfight, and it becomes a front-loaded affair that’s drastically different than what came before it. Also, dialogue is lacking clarity, likely because it was cheaply recorded. [xrr rating=4/5 label=Audio]

All of the extras from the DVD are included here, although it’s a shame the director’s cut is only on standard def. Uwe Boll provides a commentary for anyone who cares enough to listen to it. A brief making of, unexplainable “Verne Troyer Clip,” and footage from a publicized boxing match between Boll and his critics round this disc off. [xrr rating=2/5 label=Extras]